HOW often do we remember death? Yes death, a harsh and fearful reality that escapes no living person. None can avoid it. The people around a dying person don’t have the ability to prevent it. Death happens every moment and it does not discriminate between the young and the old, the rich and the poor, the strong and the weak. Everyone is equal in front of death, because no one has any means to escape it or use intercession to avoid it or even delay it.
 
Allah says in the Qur’an:

“Say: Indeed, the death from which you flee will surely meet you, then you will be sent back to Allah, the All-Knower of the unseen and the seen. And He will then tell you what you used to do.” (Qur’an, 62:8)
 
“Every one is going to taste death. And We shall make a trial of you with evil and with good, and to Us will you be returned.” (Qur’an, 21:35)
 
Our hearts tremble with fear on the thought of this indispensable reality. A person’s actions are sealed with death and what comes after that is more fearful, because will there be a place where one can flee to in order to escape the afflictions suffered in the grave? What will our reply be when we are questioned in the grave? None of us know where we will end up. Will it be Paradise whose width is like the heavens and the earth or will it be the Fire whose fuel is of men and stones?
 
Ibrahim Bin Adham (d. 160H) was asked about the verse: “Call upon Me and I will respond to you.” (Qur’an, 40:60)

that: “We call upon Allah, but He does nor respond to us.” So Ibrahim replied:
 
“You know Allah; yet you do not obey Him. You recite the Qur’an; yet you do not act according to it. You know Shaytan; yet you continue agreeing with him. You claim to love Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him); yet you abandon his Sunnah. You claim to love Paradise, yet you do not work for it. You claim to fear the Fire; yet you do not stop sinning.
 
You say ‘indeed death is true’; yet you have not prepared for it. You busy yourselves with the faults of others; yet you do not look at your own faults. You eat the sustenance that Allah provides for you; yet you are not grateful to Him. And you bury your dead; yet you have not heeded its lesson.” (Ibn Rajab’s Al-Khushu’-fis-Salah, pg. 62)
 
This reality must be firmly established in our heart – the reality that life in this world is limited and has an appointed end, and that this end will surely come. Sheikh Ali Hasan Al-Halabi mentions some good reflections in his book Al-Mawt:
 
“The righteous will die; and the wicked will die. The warriors who fight jihad will die; and those who sit at home will die. Those who busy themselves with correct beliefs will die; and those who treat people as their slaves will die. The brave who reject injustice will die; and the cowards who seek to cling to this vile life will die. The people of lofty goals and ambitions will die; and the wretched who live for cheap enjoyment will die.
 
“...So keep death in mind, and the passing on to the next life, and the number of sins that one has committed and the small amount of good that one has done. Think of the good that you would earnestly like to do at that time – then bring that forward and do it today. And think of all those things which you would desire to clear yourself of – then clear yourself from them now.”

Source: Received as an email

By: Maryam

As most people do, I turned to Allah and Islam during the hard times of my life. It's a sad fact of life. When times are happy and life is good, no one feels obliged to turn towards his or her Deen (religion). It's all about living the moment.

After I had turned towards Allah, I approached a friend in a very casual manner, trying to encourage her to also turn towards Islam. Her reply chilled my blood. "Right now, my life is good, I'm happy and I don't need any change."

I thought to myself, better bite your tongue. I wanted to shake her and say, "Would you really want some tragic event to happen before waking up to Islam?" Obviously no one in his or her right mind would want to do so, but subconsciously, I feel everyone does.

I was no exception to that. I was on the brink of depression, as a result of a series of events that happened. Now looking back at it, it wasn't much, but being a teenager who had lost her sense of identity and purpose in life, it was the monster of all crises.

I had been separated from my best friends, snatched up away from my life and replaced in a place I had once called home. It was hard, and I was suffering. I used to find comfort, lying awake at night and staring at the stars, amazed at the fact that these were the same stars I stared at when I lived on the other side of the world.

My family, Alhamdulillah (All Praise be to Allah), had all changed towards Islam in the past years. No one forced me to wear Hijab, and I didn't simply because I thought I wasn't ready. They did, however, expect me to dress modestly and most importantly offer my daily prayers.

My aunt used to take me to these classes held nearby, and I went when I could. I was in pain and I didn't quite understand why. And it happened so that the particular topic at that class I had attended was on why pain and suffering happens. The teacher said that we are put through hard times as a test, to see how we cope with it. To see if we will turn towards Siratul Mustaqeem (the Straight Path), or away from it.

It was that day that I learned that every bit of pain we endure, both emotional and physical, alleviates us from our punishments in the hereafter. It was then that I started truly understanding the ways of Allah, how everything that happens has a purpose and that I was supposed to learn from that.

It's been almost two and a half years since that period of my life. It took me a year and a half to actually start changing. I knew Islam, but I did not practice it the way a Muslim is supposed to. I thought I was happy, but deep down inside I knew that I was not.

I was a hypocrite, and as much as I tried denying it, I could not. It sank in and I accepted it and prayed that I find the right way. My conscience was not dead, but I had muted it. Before, I used to get the urge to start Hijab, yet I used to fight it. I performed Umra and I prayed continuously that the next time my conscience spoke to me, I would not only listen to it, but I would amplify it so that I could not ignore it.

Last Ramadan, late one night, Hijab got on my conscience and would not go away. I told myself that I was not ready, that there were many strings attached that I may not be able to fulfil, but with the right words from supportive friends I told myself that if I didn't start now, I would never start. And I believed that 200%. So I no longer had any excuse for not doing Hijab. So Allhumdulilah, I finally put on my Hijab on December 31st, 1999 at the age of 18, and have been wearing it ever since.

After a month or so, I realized that Hijab was not as big a deal as I had thought. It was not difficult in the least. To this day there has never been a moment that I regretted Hijab, and for that I am so grateful, Alhamdulillah. I immediately found many friends who also wear Hijab. These friends and my family were the greatest strength for my new found Iman (faith).

I occupied myself with more Masjid-oriented activities and attended more classes to increase my knowledge of our religion. I am grateful that I put my foot down and decided to start Hijab then, because had I not, who knows how long it would have taken for me to start.

How do I remember Allah and His magnificent ways?

When I step outside and marvel at the beauty of nature. When I stop to play with a baby and see how perplexing, yet perfect, the precious cycle of life is. When I go out and people stop to say As-Salaam-Wa-Alaikum to me. When I study the Qur'an and the Hadeeth of our beautiful Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) and how perfectly and completely it incorporates our lives and faith. When I pass by my fellow sisters in Islam adorned proudly and confidently in their Hijabs. Everything reminds me of Allah, and I can feel my love for Him, our Prophet, and our religion grow by the day.

Source: www.missionislam.com

It is narrated on the authority of Abu Huraira that the Messenger of Allaah (sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam) observed: Be prompt in doing good deeds (before you are overtaken) by turbulence which would be like a part of the dark night. During (that stormy period) a man would be a Muslim in the morning and an unbeliever in the evening or he would be a believer in the evening and an unbeliever in the morning, and would sell his faith for worldly goods. (Muslim, 213)

Abdul-Maalik al-Qaasim

All praise is due to Allaah, may peace and blessings be upon the Messenger (r), his household and companions.

Fellow Muslims! Fear Allaah as he should be feared, for fear of Allaah brings more blessings and prevents afflictions.

Dear Muslims! Allaah has foreordained the fate of all creatures, written down their impacts and deeds, portioned out between them their livelihood and wealth and created death and life that He may test them which of them is best in deed. Indeed, belief in Allaah's decree and preordainment is one of the pillars of faith. Nothing happens in this universe except by His will.

This life is full of misfortune and sorrow. It is destined to be a place of hardships and trouble. Trials and tribulations are as inevitable in this life as cold and heat. Allaah says,

"And certainly We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to those who are patient."(2:155)

Pre-destination is a test by which the truthful ones are distinguished from untruthful ones. Allaah says,

"Do people think that they will be left alone because they say, 'We believe,' and will not be tested." (29: 2)

The human soul does not become pure except through trials, and it is during tribulations that real men are known. Ibn Jawzee said, "Whoever wants to have everlasting peace and well-being with no affliction does not understand the meaning of Allaah's commandments, nor does he perceive the meaning of submission to Allaah. Every soul (either believing or disbelieving) shall inevitably taste suffering in this world, for this life is based on hardships. Man lives between comfort and suffering. Prophet Aadam, for instance, had the angels prostrated before him and yet was soon after expelled from paradise"

A believer is afflicted with trials in order to refine him, not to punish him.

He is tested in ease as well as in hardship. Allaah says,

"And We tried them with good (blessings) and evil (calamities) in order that they might turn (to Allaah's obedience)." (Al-A'raaf 7: 168).

Brothers in faith! Something undesireable may sometimes have a pleasant result, while something seemingly desirable may turn out to have an unpleasant and abominable result. Do not therefore feel that harmful things cannot come to you through hardship. Allaah says,

"...And it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allaah knows, and you do not know." (Al-Baqarah 2: 216).

Prepare yourself mentally for afflictions before they occur so as to make their occurrence light on you. Do not be worried because of tribulations, for they have their limits, and watch what you utter during your hard times for many a word has ruined its utterer. A resolute Muslim stands firm during hardships, his heart does not change and he does not complain. Console yourself whenever afflicted with a promise of reward from Allaah. Wise people show endurance whenever they are stricken with misfortune so as not to add to their misfortune the malicious joy of their enemies, for whenever your enemies know of your misfortune they are overjoyed.

Brothers in Islaam! Endeavour to keep your misfortunes and pains to yourself, for concealment of afflictions and pains are of the qualities of noble people. Be patient over afflictions, they will soon be removed from you. Those who perished only suffered that because of their impatience while the patient ones are being recompensed with good rewards. Allaah says,

"And those who are patient, we will certainly pay them a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do." (Al-Anaam 16:96).

The reward of the patient ones will be doubled for their patience and Allaah will be with them, remove their afflictions and make them victorious.

O afflicted one! Your Lord does not deny you what you want except what is better than that, He does not test you but for your well-being and He does not subject you to tribulations but to purify you. He tries His slaves with pleasure as he blesses them with calamity. Do not therefore waste your time thinking over what has already been guaranteed for you. As long as one is still alive his provision will no doubt come to him. Allaah ta'ala says,

"And no (moving) living creature is there on earth but its provision is due from Allaah." (Hood 11:6).

Further, if Allaah - out of His wisdom - closes a door against you, He opens out of His mercy a door better for you than the closed one. It is by afflictions that righteous and understanding people are increased in rank and reward. Sa'ad bin Abee Waqqaas said: I said, "O Messenger of Allaah, who are the most afflicted of all people? He replied (r), "The Prophets, then the righteous people, then those who are nearest to them in perfection and those who are nearest to them. Man is tested according to his religiosity; if he is strong religiously, his test is increased and if he is weak in religion, his test is reduced And a believer will be tested until he walks on the earth sinless [i.e. his sins have been erased by series of afflictions that he endured.]" (Al-Bukhari)

Fellow Muslims! Prophet Aadam laboured along difficult paths beset with affliction; Prophet Ibraheem was thrown into a blazing fire; Ismaeel was laid down for slaughter; Yoonus was swallowed by a whale; Prophet Aayoob suffered from a severe illness; Yoosuf was sold for a pittance, thrown into a well and wrongfully jailed and Muhammed (r) suffered different kinds of injury. You also are in path of calamities moving, for the life does not give pleasure only to anyone. The Prophet (r) said, "If Allaah wants to do good to somebody, He afflicts him with trials." (Al-Bukharee). Some people of knowledge said, "Whoever Allaah creates for paradise will be having trials and undesirable things."

Real trial, dear brothers, is the trial in one's religion and whatever trial besides that is regarded as well being, for it raises one in the rank and erases ones sins. Also all comforts that do not bring one closer to Allaah is a tribulation. Do not therefore grieve over what you miss in worldly materials, for worldly pleasure begets pain and disobedience. Aboo Dardaa said, "Of the insignificance of this world to Allaah is that He is not disobeyed except in it, while what is with Him cannot be obtained except by abstaining from it. Engage yourself in what will benefit you more. Keep away from what is in peoples' hands you will be the wealthiest of them; do not lose hope in Allaah's mercy lest you are disgraced; always remember Allaah's favour on you and drive away your distress by being pleased with Allaah's decree, for however long the night may be, it will be followed by the dawn. Supplicate to Allaah. He will give you relief and if you are patient Allaah will provide a way out for you. Ponder over the story of Prophet Ya'qoob who lost a son for a long period and yet did not lose hope of relief from the Almighty One, but rather said, "Maybe Allaah will bring them all (back) to me."

Dear brother! It is only Allaah who deserves all praise and is capable of attending to all complaints. It is only Him you must beseech to remove your misfortunes. Pray to Him during the night with submission and humbleness and request Him to make your affairs easy for you. He says,

"Is it not He who responds to the distressed one when he calls Him (better than your gods.)" (27: 62)

Put your trust in the Omnipotent Lord and take refuge with Him with a humble heart, He will open the doors of His mercy for you. Fudayl ben 'Iyaadh said, If you lose hope in all people and you do not ask anything from them, your Lord will give you all that you want." Whoever leaves his affairs to the hands of Allaah will achieve what he aspires: Always recite the prayer of Prophet Yoonus:

"None has the right to worshipped except You (O Allaah) Glorifed (and exalted) are You (above all that they associate with You) Truly I have been of the wrong doers." The 'Ulamaa said, "No one In distress recites this prayer except that Allaah gives him relief from his distress."

Ibn al-Qayyim said, "It has been tested that whoever says:

"Verily distress has seized me and You are the most merciful of all those who show mercy!" Seven times Allaah relieves him of his distress!

Put then yourself under the protection of Allaah, depend upon Him, submit your affairs to Him and ask Him for relief. Try to supplicate in the most appropriate periods like during prostration and the last hour of the night. Do not feel uneasy if your supplications have not yet been answered, and do not lose hopeof Allaah's mercy even though the period of your affliction may seem long, for relief is near, and continue to pray to Allaah. Also know that when Allaah afflicts you no one except Him is capable of removing that affliction for He does whatever He wills.

If your provision seems delayed, do a lot of istighfar, for misdeeds necessitate punishment; and if it does not seem that your supplications are having any impact, then examine yourself, for it may be that you have not been sincere in your repentance. Endeavour also, to give charity to the needy, for charity prevents and removes affliction. However, if your affliction is removed, give a lot of thanks and praise to your Lord and know that a false sense of safety is a big trial. Allaah says,

"Say: Nothing shall ever happen to us except what Allaah has ordained for us. He is our Lord and Protector, and in Alaah let the believers put their trust." (At-Taubah 9: 51).

Dear Muslims! No condition is permanent. Fortunate is he who is always God-conscious. Fear Allaah in any condition you may find yourself. You can do nothing to prevent what has been destined to happen as you do nothing to attain what has not been pre-ordained. The ability to choose and control is with Allaah alone and His choice for His slave is better for him than his choice for himself.

Dawood bin Sulaymaan said, "Three things indicate the piety of a believer; his trust in Alaah in what he has not attained; his satisfaction with whatever he has attained and his patience over what he has missed."

A wise man was asked, "What is wealth?" He replied, "Fewness of one's mundane desires and one's contentment with what suffices him."

Shurayh said, "A slave will not be afflicted by a trial except that he finds three blessings therein,

(1) that the trial has nothing to do with his religion,
(2) that the trial was not bigger than it is, and
(3) that Allaah gives him patience to bear it."

Source: www.islamicawakening.com

by Yasir Birjas

The Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam has been blessed with jawaami' ul kalim, the most concise, or precise, speech. The Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam said, "I have been blessed with concise speech." Therefore, when we look at the precious pearls that came out of the Prophet’s mouth, sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam, we find that many of his ahadith are in fact treasure chests of wisdom. The words might be small, but the meanings behind them are great. The speech might be succinct, but the benefits and the blessings that can be derived from them are innumerable.

And of the ahadith that are jawaami', or comprehensive in nature, is the hadith of ibn Abbas radi Allahu anhu reported in the mustadrak of Al-Haakim, musnad Imam Ahmad, and others, with an authentic chain of narration. In this hadith the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam said to a man while he was advising him:

"Take advantage of five matters before five other matters: your youth, before you become old; and your health, before you fall sick; and your richness, before you become poor; and your free time before you become busy; and your life, before your death."

The first word, ightanam comes from same root that signifies sheep - ghanam. Sheep, in Arabic, means ghanam, and ightanam is from the same root that also signifies sheep. What exactly is the meaning of ightanam? Ightanam is used to indicate any good that can be obtained without much effort. Just like sheep, they can easily be caught if they go astray. This is why the war booty that is found on the battlefield after the army has fled is called ghaneemah. It is easy to take, just like the sheep. You can grasp it without much effort. Ghaneemah, ightanam, and ghanam are all from the same root.

So it is as if the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam is pointing out that these five matters are very easy to obtain. They are easy to prey on and catch, and very simple to benefit from. That is because they are treasures that everyone possesses but few people appreciate.

What are these five things?

#1: Take Advantage of Your Youth Before Your Old Age

The Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam started off and said shabbab or shab, a youth or young person. The Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam said, "Take advantage of your youth before your haram.” And the word haram means old age, maybe even senility. It is an age in which the person does not have the power or mental faculties that he had while he was a youth.

Youthfulness is a time when a person is the most energetic, when he lays out the foundations for his future, and when he plans his life. So the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam said to take advantage of this time before the time comes when you do not have that enthusiasm, when you do not have that zeal, or that outlook. The enthusiasm and energy that you have been blessed with will never again be given to you after this age. Therefore, the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam said to seize the moment and take advantage of it. A person should exercise this energy for the sake of Allah by procuring knowledge of Allah, obtaining halal sustenance, and worshipping Allah through acts that he might not be able to do later on in life.

Youth here does not mean the western concept of youth that youthfulness finishes when someone is eighteen or nineteen years old. In the Islamic Shari’ah, a man's life has been divided into a number of sectors or stages. Shabbab or shab, according to the strongest opinion, means before reaching the age of forty. This is because forty is the prime of life, when mental and physical capabilities have reached a peak, and after that they start to go down.

The Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam said:

"Seven are the people that will be sheltered on the Day of Judgment, the day in which there is no shade except the shade of Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala.”

One of the seven people, the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam mentioned was a youth who grew up in the worship of Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala. Remember, the youth is up to forty. So this young person, whether he is twenty or thirty or right before reaching the age of forty, he has grown up and has been raised or has raised himself busy in the worship of Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala.

Likewise, the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam said in an authentic hadith that Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala is pleased with and amazed at the youth who does not have any evil inclinations. This means he does not do evil. Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala loves such a youth who is straight in the worship of Allah and does not turn left or right to the paths of Shaytaan. Allah loves this person and is amazed at him because in general it is the youth, due to their virility and strong desires, who swerve left and right away from the path of the worship of Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala. So this is the first of the five: “your youth before your old age.”

#2: Take Advantage of Your Health, Before You Fall Sick

The second of the five matters is, "your health, before you fall sick." The fact that one lives a normal life and is not afflicted with diseases and plagues, represents a person’s health. Take advantage of this before diseases and plagues come because mankind, being mankind, will fall sick. Everyone falls sick. If we did not fall sick, we would not be humans, we would be divine.

There will come a time when we will fall sick. Some of those times the sicknesses will be more severe, and for certain people even more severe. So the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam is reminding us that we do not know when we will have full possession of our faculties, of our strength, of our mental powers, before we will fall sick. Therefore, take advantage of it before that time comes.

The Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam said:

"There are two blessings the majority of mankind have been deceived concerning." The majority of mankind do not appreciate these two blessings. They are "health," good health, "and free time."

Once a person came to Yunus ibn 'Ubayy, one of the scholars of the Salaf, and he complained of extreme poverty as he had not been blessed with much. Yunus ibn Ubayy asked him, "Would you be willing to give away your sight for a certain amount of money?" The man said, "No, of course not." Then he asked him, "Would you be willing to give your hands away?" He said, "No, of course not." He asked, "Your feet?" He said, "Of course not." When he finished he said "I see that you have hundreds of thousands of millions of blessings, yet you are complaining of poverty?"

We have our full faculties, we can see and hear. Look at someone who Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala has tested with blindness. It is a very severe test, and that is why the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam has said in an authentic hadith:

"There are two things if Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala takes them away from a person and he is patient, he is guaranteed Jannah. These two things are the two eyes."

In other words, if a person is blind, and we seek Allah's refuge from the physical and the spiritual blindness in this world and in the hereafter, then Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala is testing him. And if he is patient, then Allah will reward him with Jannah.

How about one who has been blessed not just with eyesight, but with hearing, health, arms, limbs, energy, vitality, enthusiasm, and many other things. Should we not appreciate the blessing from Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala? Do we not realize how sweet health is? It can be used for the worship of Allah. When we are blessed with these bodies, why do we not use them in the worship of Allah?

The least we can do, brothers and sisters, is the faraa'id (obligatory actions) such as salah five times a day, fasting in Ramadan, and going for the Hajj. All of these require that we use our physical bodies. That is the least that we can do, the bare minimum. Of course, the more that one does, the better it is for him.

This is the second of the five matters: “your health before you fall sick.”

#3: Take Advantage of Your Richness Before Poverty

The third is, "your richness, before poverty." One day we might not have anything, and the next we might have much more than we need. One day, a person might have the best of jobs and the largest of salaries, yet, the next day, something happens and he does not have that job anymore and loses his source of income. So the wise person uses his richness before he becomes poor. He invests for his future.

As for the investments of this dunya, then the kafir and the Muslim are both the same; they both do that. Even the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam would store staple food items even up to a year. Sometimes he would store barley and grain for a whole year for his family. So this is obviously something halaal as the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam himself did it, and we should do it too. We should make sure we have enough money for our family and our children and ourselves, so we are not poor and we are not beggars. There is no doubt that this is a part of our Shari’ah as well.

But while we are doing this, let us not forget that we also need to invest for the Akhirah. Should we not think about investing this money so we can pick it and pluck it in the Hereafter when we need it far more than we need it in this world? We need to invest for the real future, our real life after our death.

The Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam once asked his companions, "Who amongst you loves his inheritors' money more than his own money?"

The meaning of this hadith is that the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam is asking for example, does the father love the money of his son or does he love his own money? Of course, the father loves his own money. Likewise, every person will love his own money more than he loves the money of other people.

The Sahabah said, "Yaa RasulAllah, all of us love our own money more than we love the money of our inheritors. We all love our own money. We guard it and protect it more than the money of our inheritors.”

Then the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam said, "Verily, the money that you spend in charity is your money, and the money that you leave behind is the money of your inheritors."

Ponder over that hadith for a while, how true it is. As for the father who loves his own money more than the money of his son, does he not realize that one day his son will take that very money of his and he will have nothing to do with it? All that is left of his money is what he spent during his life for the sake of Allah, if there was any such money. Any of it spent in charity for the sake of Allah, is money that will be yours permanently. The Arabic word for charity includes zakah, sadaqah, waqf, and any type of monetary good that you did. Everything besides this will go into the hands of your inheritors.

Remember that feeding your family is an ibaadah if you are doing it for the sake of Allah. If you are doing it for the sake of Allah, you will be rewarded. The Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam said that, "A morsel of food," one morsel of food, one handful of food, "if you put it in your wife's mouth, this will be a reward for you on the Day of Judgment." Now everybody, Muslim or non-Muslim, feeds his family. But will everybody be rewarded for that? No. Because only the one who does it remembering Allah, thinking about Allah, and doing it for the sake of Allah will be rewarded.

Ask yourself if the last time you went shopping, Allah was in your mind? Did you think of doing this for Allah? When you picked up the milk and the bread, was your heart thinking, "Oh Allah, I am buying this food through halaal money, and this is halaal food, because I want to feed my family and this is an obligation that You have put upon me, therefore, I am doing it for your sake." Who amongst us has this in his mind?

When we say, "That is spent for the sake of Allah," we are not just talking about money, zakah, sadaqah, and charity. Of course, giving in charity is the best thing you can do with your money. But do not forget that the majority of income that we spend, and in fact for the mu'min, all of the income that he spends, can be for the sake of Allah as well. This means thinking of Allah, spending for the sake of Allah, and having the intention of pleasing Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala.

This is the third of the five things: “your richness, before poverty.”

#4: Take Advantage of Your Free Time Before You Become Busy

This is yet another great treasure that every single one of us possesses. Every single one of us must use our free time before we become busy. How much free time do we have and what do we waste it on? Think about it. Think about how much free time all of us have been blessed with. We have hours and hours every day and they go by. What do we waste it on? Primarily, in this country at least, television. It is also wasted on gossip and socialization of which there is no benefit whatsoever, in this world nor the hereafter.

Remember the hadith of the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam that we just quoted about the two blessings (health and free time) most people have been deceived by. In other words, they don't realize their blessings of health and free time. You may have to work eight hours a day, no problem. Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala has allowed this for you. He has obligated it upon you. When you come home, you have four or five hours, so spend them wisely for the sake of Allah.

Spending time wisely does not necessarily mean purely religious deeds. But spending your time wisely and even be something in this world. Learn a trade. Learn something that can benefit you in this world and that can benefit other people as well. Islam is a complete way of life, a complete code. Do not forget that all of the acts a mu'min does can be transformed into acts of worship if, and only if, he does them for the sake of Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala.

Of course that there are religious deeds which are the best deeds to do. Every one of us should recite the Qur'an everyday, even if it's only for five or ten minutes. You should have some relationship with the Qur'an. Every one of us should pray some extra prayers as well, a few sunnahs or the nafls, if not the continual sunnahs that the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam used to pray. This is the most important thing for us to do. But at the same time, do not forget that there can be many acts that can be rewarded if you change your niyyah and do them for the sake of Allah.

Do not waste your time. The greatest waster of time is the television. You turn it on, and an hour or two go by, and not only have you not gained anything for the Akhirah, you have not gained anything for this world. You have literally killed, murdered your time, and done absolutely nothing with it. And realize that you are lucky if you don't come away from those two hours without any sin. How many are the sins that are in television, with music, and the women, and other things. In my opinion, it is better for a mu'min not to even have this instrument in his house because of the evil that comes from it. Like Allah says about alcohol, the evil that comes from it is more than the good that is obtained from it.

When you have some free time, take advantage of it. The greatest thing that we can do in this free time is to worship Allah. And one of the greatest acts of worship is to seek knowledge. Take a book out to read, listen to some cassettes, or listen to some CD's. Do whatever you can do to increase your 'ilm. Attend some classes or even visit one another for the sake of Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala. Visit your Muslim brother with the proper Islamic etiquette and adab. This is an act you can do that will pass your time away, and be worthwhile.

This is the fourth of the five matters: "take advantage of your free time before you become busy."

#5: Take Advantage of Your Life Before Your Death

This one phrase summarizes it all: "take advantage of your life before your death." Every one of us has a life. That is why we are here right now. Every one of us without a doubt will die. Allah says:

You are going to die and they too are going to die.

And it is as Allah said, the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam passed away and so did the people that opposed him and believed in him. They all have passed away. And the turn came for those after them, and then those after them, until it is our turn.

The Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam therefore reminded us, "Take advantage of your life before your death." This is the greatest of foresight. Hence the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam concluded the hadith with this phrase.

How are we going to use this life before death comes? As for the kafir, he will totally waste it because he will make this life his goal. He will live only to appease and satisfy every desire of his. Then on the Day of Judgment, he will beg Allah to send him back to this life. Allah describes this in the Quran:

When death comes to them, he will say, “O my Lord!”

All of a sudden, when his Lord comes to him he remembers Allah. Whereas throughout all of the years that he lived, Allah was nowhere near him; Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala was the furthest thing from his death. On the Day of Judgment when he is resurrected, he will say:

Oh my Lord! Allow me to go back so that I may do good in the time that I had left.

Allah obviously will say, "Kalla” – no. You have only been allowed one life and you will not be able to go back and change that life. For every good you do you will be rewarded, and for every evil you do you will be punished.

Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala also describes them in the Qur’an as saying on the Day of Judgment:

O our Lord, we have seen and we have heard. Let us go back to do good deeds; we are now believers. (32:12)

They claim to believe in Allah and the Day of Judgment but Allah will not allow this to happen because everyone has only one life. That is what Allah has given and this is what we must make the best of in this world so that we are compensated accordingly in the Hereafter.

These are the five things that the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam told the man to do. He advised him:

"Take advantage of five matters before five others: your youth, before your old age; and your health before you fall sick; and your wealth before you become poor; and your free time before you become busy; and your life before your death."

This hadith deals with responsibility, wisdom, foresight, long-term planning, and good strategy. Every one of us has been blessed with these five blessings. There is no one amongst us who has not been blessed with these five things. So how do we utilize them? What do we utilize them for? Why do we utilize them?

The wise person is the one who strives to achieve the pleasure of Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala and then expects the best from Allah. The wise one is one who tries to arrive at the goal and then has tawakkul in Allah. Tawakkul does not mean to sit back and say, "Oh, this will happen to me." Rather, you must strive for it. The fool is the one who follows his desires and then presumes that Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala will reward him.

We ask that Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala makes us amongst those who can ightallim, those who can seize these five things, who can take advantage of them before the five will come. These five matters will inevitably be taken away from us, and substituted by the others that the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam mentioned.

Wa aakhiru da'waana 'anil hamdulillahi Rab al 'Alameen, wa subhanak Allahumma wa bihamdika wa ash hadu'an laa ilaaha illa ant nastaghfiruka wa atubu ilayk.

--------------------

Abridged

Source: www.khutbah.com
Re-published with permission

By Ahamed Ameen

It is impossible to achieve any reform without first developing our willpower.

If we want our youth to be able to keep their emotions in check, refrain from overindulgence, exhibit courage in times of hardship, and uphold justice in the face of oppression, then we must realize that all of our advice will be of no avail to them if they lack willpower. People need to develop their willpower before they can put their convictions into practice. It takes willpower for a person to do something arduous, even if he thinks it is for his own benefit. Likewise, it takes willpower for him to shun temptation, even when he knows that indulging such temptations will be harmful to him. You can advise him all day long if you like, but it will do no good if the one receiving your advice is weak-willed.

How, then, can we cultivate our willpower and strengthen it?

Consider a child who wants to learn to ride a bicycle. When he starts off, he cannot even keep the bike standing straight, let alone go forward on it. When he does get going, he weaves wildly to the left and to the right and ultimately ends up falling flat on the ground. With a lot of hard work and perseverance, he gets it in the end. He learns to ride smoothly and easily. He even learns to do a few stunts.

What happened? The bicycle definitely did not change – except for possibly a few dents. It is just as willing to obey its rider as it ever was. All the changes have taken place with the rider.

The same can be said for all of our goals in life. We have to get control of ourselves before we can tackle our environment. The first step in this is to develop our willpower.

A weak-willed person is as shaky when it comes to life’s problems as that child was when he first climbed onto his bicycle. If this person begins trying to strengthen his will, he will slowly but surely learn to move through life more steadily. And just like when our nascent cyclist first took to the road, the weak-willed person is going to need a lot of hard work and perseverance to get through his problems. However, as time goes on, facing his problems will become easier and smoother. This is why the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “The time for patience is when misfortune first strikes.”

Strengthening our willpower is arduous at first, but once it is strengthened, life will become much easier.

A weak-willed person always resolves on something and then gives up. He goes through life like a weaver who constantly unravels his own yarn. However, once a person actually goes forth with determination until he reaches his goal, he will find that he can do so again with much less difficulty.

A pious man finds the performance of good deed as easy as a sinner finds indulging in vice. The difference between the two is that the pious man directed his willpower toward virtue while the other directed his towards sin.

Many young people get into bad habits without thinking. They just go with the flow, thoughtlessly aping their peers without thinking about the consequences. Many of our youth succumb simply because they are weak-willed.

Imagine a boy sitting with a couple of his friends. They start smoking and urge him to join them. He declines and they start to put pressure on him. They justify what they are doing by saying that it eases stress or by offering some other baseless claim. So he takes his first puff, but he finds it irritating and has no desire to smoke again. However, a few days later he finds himself in the same situation again. This time the irritation is not so bad. Now he joins in with them wholeheartedly. Another bad habit is born.

If this boy had been strong-willed to begin with, he would never have smoked. It takes willpower to resist peer pressure, whether the temptation at hand is smoking, drinking, or chasing girls.

Our youth have to learn to follow their reason instead of their desires. They need to have a strong sense of responsibility.

When a person stays in bed even though it is time for the Fajr prayer or time to go to work, he gives in to sloth and laziness and this weakens his willpower. However, if he has a strong sense of responsibility and obeys his intellect, he will be able to get himself out of bed and do what he has to do. The same thing goes for every other aspect of life. Whether a person gives in to sleep or to peer pressure, he dulls both his mind and his willpower and he becomes less responsible as a person.

The great people we read about in history were strong willed people who obeyed their minds and not their fancies. They built up their willpower by working hard and surmounting the obstacles that faced them. Great people take pleasure in resisting temptation and in the sense of power and self-control that doing so gives them. Our history testifies to a great number of such people.

Take Abû Bakr at the time when many of the Arabs turned their backs on Islam and refused to pay Zakâh. Many people advised Abû Bakr to be lenient on them. However, he rejected their advice and demanded that the Arabs accept Islam wholeheartedly without subtracting anything from it. We can see in this his determination, his strength of will, and his ability to stand up in the face of the most trying of circumstances.

Consider Ibn Taymiyah’s stance when the ruler wanted him to abandon the opinions that he had arrived at through careful study. When Ibn Taymiyah refused to do so, he was imprisoned and tortured but he still refused to recant. Instead, he spent his time in prison writing books wherein he explained and defended his principles and teachings. When they took away his pens and paper, he took up pieces of coal and began writing on the walls. His determination in the face of imprisonment and torture is a great example of the triumph of the human will over adversity and his writings are an enduring legacy of this triumph.

Willpower is one of the greatest secrets of success. By cultivating our willpower and strengthening it, we can stand up to the trials that face us. A strong-willed person is someone who can improve himself and someone who can benefit from the advice and guidance of others. By contrast, a weak-willed person cannot improve himself and will not be availed of the efforts of others to better him. Before anything else, he needs to strengthen himself. He needs to treat his weakness as if it were a disease and be patient during the healing process.

Source: www.missionislam.com

by Muhammad Alshareef

Aasiyah, the wife of Fir'own, had eman in Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala that thrived under the shadow of someone who said, "I am your Lord, Most High!" When news reached Fir'own of his wife's eman, he beat her and commanded his guards to beat her. They took her out in the scalding noon heat, tied her hands and feet, and beat her perpetually. Who did she turn to? She turned to Allah! She prayed, "My lord, build for me a home with You in Paradise and save me from Fir'own and his deeds and save me from the transgressive people."

It was narrated that when she said this, the sky opened for her and she saw her home in Paradise and she smiled. The guards watched in astonishment as she was being tortured but yet smiling. Frustrated, Fir'own commanded a boulder to be brought and dropped on Aasiyah, to crush her to death. But Allah took her soul before the boulder was brought and she became an example for all the believing men and women until the end of time:

And Allah has set forth an example for those who believe – the wife of Fir'own – when she said, "My Lord, build for me a home with You in Paradise, and save me from Fir'own and his deeds, and save me from the transgressive, disbelieving people” (At-Tahreem 66/11).

In the hadith of Jibraeel, when he came to the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam and asked him about Islam, eman, and ihsaan, the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam said about eman:

"Eman is to believe in Allah, His angels, His books, His messengers, the Final Day, and the divine decree – the good and the bad thereof."

Today I shall focus on the last article of eman – to believe in the divine decree, the good and the bad thereof.

As you and I travel though life, we find ourselves in one of two situations. Either something good is happening in our lives, in which case as Muslims our role is to thank Allah for the blessing, or something bad or something we dislike is happening to us, and our role then is to be patient. This is the formula for a happy life, a life cruising towards the pleasure of Allah. Sabr (patience) or shukr (gratitude), the worry stops here.

The Messenger of Allah sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam said:

"Strange is the affair of the mu'min (the believer). Verily, all his affairs are good for him. If something pleasing befalls him he thanks (Allah) and it becomes better for him. And if something harmful befalls him he is patient (saabir) and it becomes better for him. And this is only for the mu'min."

Ibn Al-Jowzee said, "If this dunya was not a station of tests it would not be filled with sicknesses and filth. If life were not about hardship, then the prophets and the pious would have lived the most comfortable of lives. Nay, Adam suffered test after test until he left the dunya. Nuh cried for 300 years. Ibrahim was thrown into a pit of fire and later told to slaughter his son. Ya'qub cried until he became blind. Musa challenged Fir'own and was tested by his people. Eesa had no provision except the morsels his disciples provided him with. And Muhammad sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam met poverty with patience as his uncle, one of the most beloved relatives to him, was slain and mutilated and his people disbelieved in him ... and the list of prophets and the pious goes on and on."

What happens to us happens by the will of Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala. It is an article of our eman that we believe in qada' and qadr and that we are pleased with Allah’s choice. Good or seemingly bad, it is all the test of this dunya. How can we imagine that we shall not be tested when those who were better than us suffered what they suffered? They, however, came away with the pleasure of Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala.

Al Hasan ibn Arafah narrated that he visited Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal after he was whipped and tortured. He said to him, "O Abu Abdillah, you have reached the station of the Prophets!"

He said, "Keep quiet. Verily, I saw nothing more than people selling their deen and I saw scholars that were with me sell their faith. So I said to myself, 'Who am I, what am I? What am I going to say to Allah tomorrow when I stand in front of Him and He asks me, 'Did you sell your deen like the others did?'"

He continued, "So I looked at the whip and the sword and chose them. And I said, 'If I die, I shall return to Allah and say that I was told to say that one of Your Characteristics was something created but I did not. ' After that, it will be up to Him - either to punish me or be Merciful to me."

Al-Hasan ibn Arafah then asked, "Did you feel pain when they whipped you?"

He said, "Yes, I felt the pain up to 20 lashes then I lost all feeling (They whipped him over eighty times). After it was over I felt no pain and that day I prayed Dhuhr standing."

Al-Hasan ibn Arafah started weeping when he heard what had happened. Imam Ahmad questioned him, "Why are you crying? I did not lose my eman. After that why should I care if I lose my life?"

These people were better than us, but this was how they were tested.

There some facts about the tests of life, the good and the bad that befalls us:

1. Much of what befalls us is the direct result of our own sins. Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala says:

And whatever misfortune befalls you it is because of what your hands have earned. And He pardons much (Ash-Shura 42/30).

Muhammad ibn Seereen used to say when his debts piled up and he felt sad, "I know that the cause of this sadness is a sin I committed over 40 years ago."

2. People understand that when something bad happens it is a test from Allah ‘azza wa jall. But dear brothers and sisters, the good things that happen to us are also a test. Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala says:

And we tested them with good (blessings) and evil (calamities) in order that they might turn back (Al-A’raf 7/168).

Abd alMalik ibn Ishaq said, "There is no one that is not tested with health and prosperity to measure how thankful he is."

And the Companion AbdurRahman ibn 'Awf radi Allahu anhu said, "We were tested with hardship and were patient. And then we were tested with prosperity and we were not patient. Because of this Allah states:

O ye who believe! Let not your wealth or your children divert you from the remembrance of Allah. And whosoever does that, then they are the losers (Al-Munafiqun 63/9).

3. Patience must happen from the beginning, not three days later or one day later, but rather at the first news of the calamity. The Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam said, "Verily patience (is only sabr when practiced) at the first hit (of news)."

4. There are things that contradict sabr. Tearing ones shirt, for example, slapping ones face, slapping hands, shaving ones head, and cursing and wailing. Umm Salamah radi Allahu anha narrates that she heard the Messenger of Allah sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam say:

"Any Muslim who says when a calamity befalls him that which Allah commanded him: ‘To Allah we belong and to him we return. O Allah reward me in this calamity and give me better then it’ - Allah will grant him better than (that which he lost)." (Muslim)

5. These tests and hardships wash away our sins. Aisha radi Allahu anha said, "Verily, fever sheds sins like a tree sheds leaves."

6. The hardships that befall us distinguish the believers from the insincere. Shumayt ibn Ajlaan said, "The pious and the ungrateful are hidden by health. Yet when calamities befall, the two men are separated (by how they react)."

Allah ‘azza wa jall says in the Quran:

Alif laam meem. Do people think that they will be left alone because they say, "We believe," and will not be tested? Indeed We tested those who (lived) before them (Al-Ankaboot 29/1-3).

PART II: Towards Sabr

Ali radi Allahu anhu said, "Verily sabr is to eman what the head is to the body. When the head is cut off, the body falls. (He then raised his voice) Verily there is no eman for he who has no sabr (patience)."

There are three types of sabr that the Muslim must have:

1. Sabr in the obedience of Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala. For example, one must be patient and perform their Fajr salah at it's appointed time.

2. Sabr in not disobeying Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala. For example, someone might be upset at another person and think, "I just have to insult him." No, rather we are commanded by He who gave us our tongues not to follow the whispers of Shaytaan. We must have sabr in not disobeying Allah.

3. Sabr in what Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala decrees on us. For example, if our child was to pass away we should be patient and seek the reward of Allah in our patience and say only that which is pleasing to Allah.

There are two keys which, if we understand them, we shall open the door to sabr

In our lives:

The first key: know that our souls, families and wealth do not belong to us, they belong to Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala. He gave them to us as a loan to see what we would do with them. When he takes them back, He is taking back what belongs to Him. We had nothing before the blessing and we'll have nothing after it. We did not create the blessing from nothing, so how can we claim that it belongs to us?

The second key: We are on a journey and the destination is the Hereafter - Paradise or Hell. We shall be leaving the dunya behind us and we will return back to Allah by ourselves. This is what needs our focus. If Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala is pleased with us then no worry. If He is not pleased with us then all worry.

Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala revealed:

Guard strictly the (five obligatory) prayers, especially the middle salah and stand before Allah in obedience (Al-Baqarah 2/238).

The verses before this aayah deal with divorce. The verses after it deal with divorce. So why was this verse placed in the middle?

The ‘ulama have suggested, wa Allahu ta‘aala ‘alim, that in the hard times that a person goes through (especially in a divorce) he should not forget the remembrance of Allah, the salah. It is that salah, coupled with sabr, that will pull him through the difficulty.

O you who believe! Seek help in patience and salah. Truly, Allah is with those that are patient (Al-Baqarah 2/153).

In conclusion, Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala gives the following good news:

And give good news to the patient who, when afflicted with calamity say, "Truly, to Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return." They are those on whom the salawat (i.e. the blessing and forgiveness) of their Lord is upon them, and who shall receive His Mercy, and it is they who are the guided ones (Al-Baqarah 2/155-157).

Allah promises anyone who wants to work on his or her patience three things: forgiveness, mercy, and guidance. Who could ask for more?

Source: www.khutbah.com
Re-published with permission.

Allah says in the Quràn:

``Whatever is in the heavens and on earth doth declare the Praises and Glory of Allah: to Him belongs Dominion and to Him belongs Praise: and He has power over all things.`` (64:1)

``Your riches and your children may be a trial: but in the Presence of Allah is the highest Reward.`` (64:15

Consider other verses in the Quran where the power of Allah is mentioned. The purpose of life is clear. Each one of us has been assigned a job to do by our self. Spouse and children are trials and are also referred as enemy’s coz in their love one can forget Allah/wrong upbringing can end us in hell. The day children are of no help.

Prophet (saw) said -children are the flowers of paradise. –children make a person weak i.e, their love could drive us to sin if not monitored. –the best gift a parent can give to there is education and best upbringing.

The day you realize yes I have to be a good parent your day starts. If your children are teenagers or are grown up to the extent that you think you can never influence them anymore then Allah says Never despair, Never lose hope. Imagine that traveller in the middle of the dessert who looses his vehicle which has all his goods for journey. How pleased he becomes to find his lost vehicle there. Allah says HE is more pleased than this traveller when a slave who was astray comes back to Him repentant.

One more chance is always there, begin in the path of Allah He is always there. This is the POWER OF ALLAH. It's never too late for Him.

Science: it was said that children learn all that they have to learn by 5yrs after which parents cannot influence them. But recent studies tell that during their teenage, children will form new principles so it is necessary to guide them again during this time.

Each child is a test paper for us. Look at your children as the slaves of Allah first, then it is Allah who has assigned this duty of taking care of them to you. Like the seeds we sow without knowing what it will sprout out to be the future of children is also hidden from us. What will they become, what trials await them, what life they will lead nothing we know? Children are given to us for a purpose. They are given to us for a certain time only. It's us especially the mothers who will have to train them to sing the glory of Allah.

WHAT SHOULD BE OUR AIM FOR THEM?

We should give them 'ROOTS OF RESPONSIBILITY AND WINGS OF FREEDOM'.

Our aim should be to up bring to do what Allah has created them for.

Freedom: to use this freedom for the good of everyone and not to be misused. A mother has to give a broader outlook of life to her children.

METHODS OF TEACHING:

1.by example

2.situational teaching

By Example

1.Children are great mimics; most of the stuff they learn is by mimicking us. Children want models and not lectures. They are cameras, snapping everything they see and recording everything they hear. In fact this is mercy from Allah (swt), otherwise just imagine sitting and lecturing them on every aspect of life how to talk, eat, walk, etc. This is a double blessing provided we ourselves are living a good life. Unfortunately we do all wrong and expect our children to do all good. This is why we all are hunting for good teachers, counselors etc. If you want your children to do something you do it first. If you want your child to speak the truth you speak the truth first, if you want them to be honest, you be honest first. Nobody teaches directly all these things, but just imagine how many of us write false leave notes! Your child is observing you and is learning this concept and uses this later for some other situation.

Children learn the concept, which we teach them consciously/unconsciously.

Situational teaching

2.Situational teaching: This is the best and easy method provided you consciously take this up. Most of the lessons taught last for life time. It gives practical exposure and independent thinking. It hits the bull's eye.

Convert your day to day situation for teaching, mother’s lap is the first school.

Eg. Some misbehaving guests come home, very naughty children, they touch your well arranged decors, break a few of your child's toys (oops), they jump on your bed etc etc

Now after they leave we have 2 options;

a.Sit back and talk about their all ills, yeah the thing which we usually do and are good at ;) remember the children are watching, observing you, here unconsciously you are teaching them.

b.Use this situation CONSCIOUSLY to teach …the practical class.

Ask their opinion about the guests. Ask them what they themselves should do to be good guests. Your Childs response will make you hold your breath because you realize that they are observing and this is too easy to teach. The lesson of taking care of their things in such situation can be done. One more important lesson is of forgiving and   forgetting and making dua for people who hurt you. This can also be taught.

Day to day situations should be used wisely. Be open minded and wait and watch for opportunities. Ask their opinions, explain the situation, teach and show the reward. No sitting and lecturing helps like the situational teaching.

APPRECIATION AND REWARD:

Children are really flowers of paradise, most of time they don't expect much from us but just a pat or a hug or just this comment good boy/good girl. Mother is their world (at least till they are really mature;) she is the greatest person for them Alhamdulillah.

Children have their own sorrows, fears, etc. Do feel sympathy for them (do not show them) but help them to come out of these. Never expect results without really helping, you have to consciously help them. Whenever they do something wrong instead of reacting immediately sit back and think your role in it. This will make it easy to correct the problem. They too are confused, give them the options, show them the other way. This process will have to go the long way of life. What works with one of your child will not work for the other one though all of them are from you. Each one is a beautiful individual. Theory is not enough. Give them principles though many a times there may not be immediate feedback, but it will be stored and used inshAllah in the journey of their life.

Ask Allah to help, put all you trust in Him. Children are sadaqa-e-jaariya (ongoing charity), one of those things which will go with us into our graves i.e, their deeds n dua’s.

OBSTACLES

1. MOTHERS IGNORANCE: Mother's ignorance and wrong ideas is the BIGGEST obstacle. Mother's lap is the first school, most of the principles/lessons are learnt from the mother. A mother has to make a conscious effort to know, learn, practice and teach. If her personal experiences were bad then more efforts have to be put to give her children the right thing, the good things. I have not got so I do not know how to give will never help. Read the Quran with meaning daily, get the right understanding and of course dua’s.
2. SPOUSE NOT COOPERATING: Then the mother has to double her efforts. Make dua. Avoid fighting on this issue especially in front of your children. Don't complain to children about this, give them the feeling that dad is with me. Don't ever give up. Hey you hubbyz out there don't feel happy, in front of Allah you too are responsible.
3. INTERFERANCE FROM OTHERS: In a joint family when we teach something to the children and someone else teaches some other thing the child gets confused, which if not monitored wisely can lead to psychological problems. Don't think they are scheming against you or are spoiling your child, for them children are like that toy which they always want to see laughing and playing for them. Sometimes they are ready to do anything and ever bubbling. You have to control yourself a lot in such situation, never react in front of them (grandparent/others). Later explain the facts to the child that how grandparent's hate their grandchildren crying and they don't have the responsibility of teaching grandchildren but parents have the duty of correcting children, when grandparent’s were parents they too were like you and all this in a nice way. Never spare the rod and spoil the child, when you have to use it use in private and don't be a police when you use this.
4. INFLUENCE OF OUTSIDE HOME: Remember Allah will always help; it’s our intentions and dua’s mainly. Do what you have to do inside, Allah will help outside. Home should be a welcome and secure place. Give only the best teachings, principles. The child should be able to feel the difference with the outside and the inside world. If someone is smoking in the house then the child becomes immune to see people smoking outside. Home has to be a different place where Allah is spoken about, individual attention is given, where prayers are said.

SOLUTIONS

1. DUAS AND EFFORTS: Dua is humility, accepting that we are weak and asking Allah to help us. Do dua a plenty of times in a day, He will never put you down. Pray for your children every moment, whenever you see their face pray for them, pray for their inner beauty. Effort should be made to work on the dua and sincerity in dua is to work for what we have asked.
2. PATIENCE AND PERSEVERANCE: Never lose hope; control your anger taken do all this consciously. Allah has given this beautiful role of motherhood, it's not for pride but it's accepting our role.
3. SELF GOODNESS: Human being is the crown of creation, if you listen to Allah then Allah will make others listen to you, this is true for you and not only for some other human.
PURE
4. INTENTIONS: For the children of everyone. Don't be jealous of others children's achievements/goodness, be genuinely happy even when your children have not got them, pray to Allah to gift your children also.
5. CRITICISM: Be open to criticism by anyone. In fact tell people to inform you if your child misbehaves or something. Talk to the teachers. Always think of your child's aakhira. But do check with your child and correct wisely.

The upbringing of children in the right direction is an acid test but if one passes this test then both the worlds will be spent in peace, Insha Allah.

Source: http://www.orkut.com/Main#Community.aspx?cmm=50082186

By Shirien Elamawy

Mass Communication Student - US

I hate clichés. How many times have we heard people say, "Don't aim low when setting your goals?" When people tell us this, does it really drive us to aim high? Or does it just sound like the old same rhetoric we've been hearing all our lives?

Most likely, it's the latter.

I used to think this way too until I stumbled upon a hadith of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) that changed my outlook on everything. In the hadith, the Prophet tells us that when we ask Almighty Allah for Paradise, we should ask for Al-Firdaws Al-`ala, the highest level of Paradise.

Between the lines, you can almost hear the Prophet say, "Don't aim low."

How many times have we taken exams hoping just to pass; you know, get away with a C or B max.? Rarely will we come out of that exam making an A. The Prophet is telling us to set the bar high. Because if you aim for mediocrity, unfortunately, that's the best you'll ever get.

So now we know we should set our goals high. But what if we don't have concrete goals? What if we still don't know what exactly we want to do in our lives? Who's to say we'll live long enough to accomplish our goals?

I'll be perfectly honest, I hate making lists. I hate when people tell me to write down my goals and check them off as I accomplish them. Most of the time, that piece of paper ends up being used for my grocery list a couple of days later!

However, if we keep a couple of things in mind while thinking about our future, the rest will be easy, God willing.

1. Everything should come back to your purpose in life.

Almighty Allah says,

(And I did not create the Jinn and humankind except to worship Me (alone)) (Adh-Dhariyat 51:56).

Our purpose in this life is to worship Allah the way He prescribed us to worship Him. Therefore, in setting your goals, you have to make sure that anything and everything you do is in accordance to what is most pleasing to Allah. If you work toward haram goals in this world, your ultimate goal is lost; the goal of attaining Al-Firdaws; seeking Allah's grace.

2. All actions are but by intentions. Not only is this the key to success in both worlds, it's effortless. The difference between a student who goes to class routinely every morning because he or she has to go and the one who goes to class for the sake of Allah, is that the former is losing out on the reward he or she could get if that adjustment in intentions is made.

3. Almost any field can be for the sake of Allah.Whether you want to go into medicine, physics, or media, you should learn it to benefit Islam and humanity around you. If you plan to be a doctor, benefit those in need; plan to save people's lives knowing that Allah says,

(If anyone saved a life, it would be as if he saved the life of all humankind)(Al-Ma'idah 5:32).

If you plan to work in the media, work for spreading true Islam to mass audiences. Work against the agendas and the propaganda used against Muslims today. Almost any field can be for the sake of Allah so long as it does not cross into the haram. More importantly, when you have the right intentions, your work will be meaningful and worthwhile.

4. Have passion in what you do, not only what you think will make the most money. Find what you can be the absolute best in! Find what you have a passion for - something that completely intrigues and captivates you, and find an economic engine to drive it forward! Our parents might try to pressure us to go into a field because of its prestige. Although it's good to please one's parents, we should try to convince them to let us do something we like to do. When we do something that interests us, it sets us up for doing that thing it with ihsaan — Arabic for: striving to do it with the highest standards and recognizing that Allah himself is watching you; perfecting what we do. If you're worried that your hobby is something that won't bring you enough money, then remember if you're doing it for Allah's sake, then put your trust in Almighty Allah and fear Him because He will provide for you. You just have to be confident that He will.

5. You will be tested.Lastly, when you have the right intention, expect opposition and hardship. Don't give up. There will be people telling you that your goals aren't realistic and there will be people who try to sabotage your goals. If you crumble under pressure, then know that you have failed the test and have proven that you did not put enough trust in Allah and turn to Him for help. Remember, if you walk toward Allah, He runs toward you. He is the only one who can give you success, and He is the only one who can take it away from you to test you. It's important to realize that we should all have goals — long-term and short-term. But our ultimate goal should be to attain the highest levels of Paradise without being punished in our graves or in Hell. Work in this life as if you'll live forever and prepare for the Hereafter as if you'll die tomorrow. For what have you prepared for tomorrow? Know that tomorrow may never come. Prepare for the worldly tomorrow, today, and most of all prepare for the Hereafter now and always.

Shirien Elamawy is a Mass Communication student and opinion columnist at Louisiana State University, the US. She specializes in doing public relations work for various Islamic projects and businesses. She can be reached at youth_campaign@iolteam.com